“Part of me wants to drop out of college and go travel the world.
Part of me wants to work really hard in college and change the world.
Part of me wants to not work hard at all and marry some rich guy.
And the other 97% of me just wants to sleep.”—(via sincerelypalita)
“I think about dying but I dont want to die. Not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. There’s so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I’m still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can’t quite figure out what the hell I’m doing or how to get out of it.”—Matty Healy (via tapwaterfanclub)
HI I DONT KNOW YOU PERSONALLY BUT I KNOW THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, FRIEND I LOVE YOU AND YOU CAN DO THIS OKAY JUST BREATHE YOU ARE LOVED BY SO MANY YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS SADNESS - AGAIN - I LOVE YOU :)
Aww, so nice! Love you too :) to just breathe is a really good advice, sometimes you just need to take a step back and realise that everything isn’t as bad as it might seem xxx
“I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?””—
I don’t trust anyone who says “I’m here to talk anytime you need me.” THe people who say that are never people I actually want to talk to, aren’t people I have the background trust with. It’s the people who have proven they want to be around me, who spontaneously talk to me and ask how I’m feeling. I’ve made it a point to never promise anything to a depressed person I don’t plan on doing. Or at least that’s what I try.
“You have this one life. How do you wanna spend it? Apologizing? Regretting? Questioning? Hating yourself? Dieting? Running after people who don’t see you? Be brave. Believe in yourself. Do what feels good. Take risks. You have this one life. Make yourself proud.”—(via moaka)
You are making progress in a spiral. You do come back around to where you were at the start, since recovery and healing take time, but every time you come back around to that point you’re a little higher up because you’ve got more experience, more knowledge, and more strength.